Another one down

Sorry for the long pause. This is the first time in a while I have even sat down at the computer. Well, last Tuesday was number two, and all I can say is that I'm happy it's over. But I need to back up. I went in for the medi-port procedure on Friday, 12/19. Pretty amazing. It's between the size of a quarter and a silver dollar in diameter, and it is about two inches or so below my collar bone. It was a simple procedure, and I was "consciously sedated"... another way of saying I was unaware of everything except the smile on my face! In a nut shell, it was the best decision as I realized on Tuesday, when there was no fussin' and they just plugged me in.

So, the doc's were right on cue with "day 15... hair loss". On Wednesday, I noticed it in the shower. Then, over the next few days, I could just run my fingers through it and away it fell. Because I felt so rotten on Thursday, the hair thing really began to bother me. I was very sad. Finally, by Sunday, I had had enough. We went over to Mom's for dinner and I packed the clippers. It just felt right. Kelly and Sadie did it. Jason, Chase, my Mom, Dad, brother Sterling, Uncle Bunky and Cousin Almy were the support crew. I feel SO much better about it. So, my hair is shorter than short, shaved down to the fuzz. If I had some time and energy to work out (and a personal trainer 6 hours a day), I could pass for Demi Moore as GI Jane. And, if I ever get around to downloading pictures onto the computer, you can see it. I'm pretty sure the peach fuzz will fall out too, but that wont be nearly as traumatic. I am much happier now that it's done. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn't know just how tough. Had it not been on a day following a treatment, maybe it wouldn't have hit so hard. But that part is over and I did it. Miss Sadie is mostly okay with it, but from time to time, she says she wants it to be the way it was before. I know she is talking about my hair, but I can't help but think that on a deeper level, she's talking about everything in general. In that regard, I wish that too sometimes. But the past two and a half months haven't been all bad. It's been time where everything except the most important things disappear off the radar screen. It's been time where you realize how important it is to hug your kids and hold your kids with all you have just because you can. It's been time where I have been able to see even more clearly and appreciate even more deeply how incredible Jason is and both of our families and all of our friends are.

Happy New Year! Ash

Kind of like Labor

Well, I decided that the treatment was somewhat like labor: during it and a few days after, there's no chance in hell you'd even consider having another baby. But a week later, the story changes and it wasn't all that bad, honest. Last Thursday was the lowest day, but really, in hind sight, it wasn't all that bad. My mom, Aunt Gail and cousin Betsy may disagree, because they were the ones watching me sleep the day away! The things I was thankful for, other than them... dry cheerios, Gail's toast with jam, and a sip of coke at breakfast!!!! (I am thinking of Laura Farrell every time the coke touches my lips!) But by Friday, I was feeling better, and Saturday, somewhat normal even (whatever normal is around here).

I get my port on Friday. They tell me it's not a big deal, so I am hoping that's acurate. I report at 0630 and will be out of there within a few hours. Wish me luck. Then T2 is Tuesday the 23rd, which means I'd rather have Christmas on Friday! Supposedly, the hair begins to "thin" around day 15, which also falls around Christmas, but we'll postpone the shaving party until a day or two after. I haven't told Sadie yet, because I'm fairly certain it will be the topic of choice from the moment I mention it. So, we wait.

I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday and I'll be in touch soon!

Love Ash

One down, seven to go

Well, I survived the first one. It was a long-ish day, because of all of the other garb. First, a blood draw, then wait a hour for the results. Then, an appointment with the doc so they can read the results. The dose I get is dependent upon my overall body area (height and weight), and all of my "counts" (white blood cells, red, platelets, kidney/liver functions). Hence, the blood work every time. So they read all of this, as do seventeen other people, order it, and start me up. This time around, I had time for a quick walk between appointments. So, I finally got in there around 11:30am, and all was said and done around 2pm. I think the hardest part was the IV part, because as the nurse explained, she wanted the biggest, best she could find. Why, you ask? Well, because if this stuff leaks out of the vein and gets under my skin, it'll eat my skin. Nice. It was at this point that I decided to schedule getting a "medi-port". This is something they insert into my chest that the docs/nurses can access at all times. This way, I wont have an IV each and every time. Initially, I didn't want one, probably because it felt like one more thing to remind me, even when I wasn't in the hospital. But I think it's the smarter choice. I felt fine right after and around 5:30-6pm, I was ready for a nap. I felt a little sick, but I think it was something I ate, in actuality. I slept pretty well, and this morning, took Sadie to school. Overall, for the better part of the day I felt like I went out drinking last night, without the stories to tell. My friend Dianne drove me up to my appointment this afternoon, which was for a shot I get the day after to help the bone marrow produce more white blood cells. That was easy. All in all, I am doing pretty well. I'll keep you posted, and until then, thanks you all for your help and well wishes.

Ash

I should go to bed

This will be quick, and mostly pointless. All is well. I had my last "filling" today. During my surgery, the plastic surgeon put what they call expanders in, under my pec's. They do this to stretch the skin to make it ready for the actual implant. They filled them with saline during surgery, then one week post op, they filled me again. Surprisingly, this didn't hurt, but it's after the fact that it becomes sore and uncomfortable, It stretches the heck out of the muscles, not to mention the skin. My range of motion gets set back a bit after a filling. I just had another "filling" on Tuesday, after which I decided I was all done with this exercise. My doc seemed to think I should have another one today, but I was able to convince him otherwise! I don't have to see him again until February.

I also had an echo cardiogram today. It's essentially an ultrasound for your heart. In this case, it's to make sure all is well and healthy before chemo and to also have a baseline for comparison should it be needed. The very nice tech told me I had a very beautiful, photogenic heart. I think that means it went well.

I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving and is looking forward to Christmas and a HEALTHY New Year.

I'll let you know how Tuesday goes! Wish me luck and a strong stomach!

Ash