Sorry for the long pause. This is the first time in a while I have even sat down at the computer. Well, last Tuesday was number two, and all I can say is that I'm happy it's over. But I need to back up. I went in for the medi-port procedure on Friday, 12/19. Pretty amazing. It's between the size of a quarter and a silver dollar in diameter, and it is about two inches or so below my collar bone. It was a simple procedure, and I was "consciously sedated"... another way of saying I was unaware of everything except the smile on my face! In a nut shell, it was the best decision as I realized on Tuesday, when there was no fussin' and they just plugged me in.
So, the doc's were right on cue with "day 15... hair loss". On Wednesday, I noticed it in the shower. Then, over the next few days, I could just run my fingers through it and away it fell. Because I felt so rotten on Thursday, the hair thing really began to bother me. I was very sad. Finally, by Sunday, I had had enough. We went over to Mom's for dinner and I packed the clippers. It just felt right. Kelly and Sadie did it. Jason, Chase, my Mom, Dad, brother Sterling, Uncle Bunky and Cousin Almy were the support crew. I feel SO much better about it. So, my hair is shorter than short, shaved down to the fuzz. If I had some time and energy to work out (and a personal trainer 6 hours a day), I could pass for Demi Moore as GI Jane. And, if I ever get around to downloading pictures onto the computer, you can see it. I'm pretty sure the peach fuzz will fall out too, but that wont be nearly as traumatic. I am much happier now that it's done. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn't know just how tough. Had it not been on a day following a treatment, maybe it wouldn't have hit so hard. But that part is over and I did it. Miss Sadie is mostly okay with it, but from time to time, she says she wants it to be the way it was before. I know she is talking about my hair, but I can't help but think that on a deeper level, she's talking about everything in general. In that regard, I wish that too sometimes. But the past two and a half months haven't been all bad. It's been time where everything except the most important things disappear off the radar screen. It's been time where you realize how important it is to hug your kids and hold your kids with all you have just because you can. It's been time where I have been able to see even more clearly and appreciate even more deeply how incredible Jason is and both of our families and all of our friends are.
Happy New Year! Ash
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3 comments:
Ash,
I've been thinking about you a lot. My sister was diagnosed right around the holidays, too. She just shaved her head because it ended up being less traumatic for her. I can't imagine what Sadie is going through and I am sure Chase is too young to get it at all. If she ever needs a playdate aside from her usual gang, don't hesitate to call. Ethan's pretty darn friendly. You are being so brave about all this and I am so impressed. If you ever want to talk to her, her name is Kate Monteith and I can give you her number. I am so grateful you have such a good support system because that made all the difference for her. If you ever need anything, please call me or e-mail me. My prayers are with you.
Ashley,
Again I want to tell you how sorry I feel that you have to go through this. I also want to thank you. Your last few sentences: "...where everything except the important things disappear off the radar screen.." are a good reminder to appreciate what is truly important. With that, I appreciate(among other things), your bright smile, even with your hair 'off the radar screen' :)
Yours,
Shiri
Dear Ashley,
I just want you to know that I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are often in my thoughts.
Please ask for my help when you need babysitting or cooking done.
Fondly, Carol
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