It's not fair... (that I have one day of energy and 17 thousand days of energetic things to do).
Half way through.
Bald is the new black.
Saving money left and right on razors, shaving cream and shampoo.
So many funny things to say and not enough brain power to remember them.
Pissed off.
One hell of a weight loss program.
Well, that's the short list of all of the title's I have thought of for this entry. As you probably noticed, it took a while for me to write this one. My third treatment, January 6th was a doozy. The fatigue hit me on the way home from the appointment and I was asleep for the night at 4pm. I honestly think my body is making up for the sleep I haven't given it in 5 plus years! I guess being a early riser and a night owl isn't always the best plan of action.
Onward, I slept A LOT!!!!!! I didn't know I could be that tired. It seemed that life was happening around me, not to me. Sorry to all of you I said I'd call back after I put Sadie to sleep...I never resurface. As far as eating... not so much. I did manage to go to Sadie's first day with the school ski program, which was Friday the 9th. My mom and I took Chase in the sled and walked up and down the hill while Jason skied with her. She did a terrific job and was skiing on on her own as of that Sunday. The program was cancelled the following Friday ( minus 20 degrees will do that) so we went again on Sunday and I actually skied. Sure, I was green, didn't even recognize my friend's friend Shari, barely got my boots buckled, but I got to be with Sadie and Jason and that was well worth it. I would appreciate it if this information did NOT get back to my surgeons!!!!!!
Monday, two days ago was a pretty good day. It's just stinks trying to figure out how to spend the little time you feel okay. First thought is kids, and then the reality of bills, calls, vacuums (yeah right!!!!!) and all of the "stuff" comes into play. I have also noticed my reaction time is deplorable. It goes something like this:
I need to write a note to .....
the amount of time it takes me to get the paper, pen, envelope, words, address, and stamp all in the same room, I might as well have flown to see the person. Now, it actually has to be put in the mail box. Right. My intentions are not exactly turning into completed tasks. Bear with me, I beg you. I have this grand idea of sending a note to every person who has sent me well wishes. I will try, but my track record is, well, the word deplorable comes to mind again!
So, yesterday was my 4th and LAST AC treatment. My doc knew the last one didn't go well just by looking at my blood work. My potassium was low as was my WBC (white blood count). The potassium was because I hadn't been eating enough, and the WBC was because of the chemo. Along with the chemo, I had two bags of potassium, which take an hour EACH to drip. Exciting day, I tell you. But I watched the inauguration and was well entertained. The Doc said the next four treatments are better... less sickness. I begin these, the Taxol, on Feb 3. It comes with it's own set of fun like potential bone and joint pain, but it's more common in older patients and since I'm so young (tee hee), I'll breeze through it. Now, for the next two weeks, my goals are:
1. to eat
2. to not feel sick.
3. to walk.
4. to smile
5. to swim
6. to feel warm, St Croix beach warm
7. to enjoy life, all parts
8. to go snow shoeing on a full moon
9. to plan a trip
10. to make sure everyone knows how much I appreciate their help
That should keep me busy!
xo Ash
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4 comments:
Ash - Pissed off - I'm sure you are - you have the right to be - and it isn't fair - life sometimes just isn't. But remember that thing you sent me the other day - God gives you the PEOPLE THAT YOU NEED.. and the people that you love - and then it said all this will make you into the person you are. Sista - you are a beautiful person - inside and out - I am so blessed to have you in my life. You totally are a true friend. I know it sucks - it's hard I'm sure. Being there with you makes me realize just how once again life just isn't fair sometimes. I believe in YOU and ANGELS and I totally believe that when all this is behind you - we will look back while we are floating around in the pool looking up at the sky and the moutain and say well that was a nasty ride. But you be ok because you will be able to pick yourself up - DUST yourself off - and say - LOOKOUT WORLD cause Here I Come Once Again.... :-) Luv u Ash - always believe in Angels - They are all around watching out for all of Us... xoxoxo i believe in u always luv Di
Oh my I wish that I could take it all away or you.
Keep you head up(as much as you can without falling asleep) prety soon this will all be behind you and life will be wonderful. Don't worry about the thank you notes... we all know just how thankful you are... we love you...
Love, Kim
Ash,
You have made it through the first round and that is great news. I know you are feeling so... so... tired right now but this too shall pass. Keep that chin up, keep smiling and stay positive. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you are almost there. We are hoping that round 2 witht the Taxol will be easier despite the different side effects. Just think "young" which you are, and this will be strongly in your favor.
This week, I will drop off something for you at Keepers so you can pick it up the next time you are stoping by at the restaurant. It contains a lot of healthy antioxidants so I hope that you are able to enjoy it.
"I won't tell" if I see you on the ski slope.
Kathy
Dear Ashley,
All of us at The Kedron are thinking of you and sending you warm wishes and lots of hugs. This has been some winter for you, one you will never forget but hopefully, like all painful events, with time it will become less of a painful memory as you cruise into life happy and healthy in the years to come. Your attitude is amazing for what life has thrown you and you have a terrific set of friends who love you and care for you deeply, it is very evident by the blog. Hang in there and we hope to see you out and about again with that FABULOUS smile!
Lots of love, Cindy, Tom and all of us at the Kedron
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