The latest scoop

To say the least, it's been a long week.  Here is the scoop so we are all on the same page:

My latest CT scan has shown that the liver tumors are actually dying off and part of the liver is regenerating.  I love this.  What I don't love: There is a new growth more in the abdomen that we need to deal with.  I will have a biopsy of this so they can target specific a treatment by finding out what the make up of it is.   I have had fluid in the abdomen that has been drained and now we know why.  The draining of it is wonderful; the build up of it, not so much.

In speaking with my doc, he still has treatments to throw at this so until he doesn't, I am willing to try anything.  It's a yo-yo game.  Something goes up and something else goes down.  It sucks and I'm not sugar coating it.  Way back in February of 2012, the doc threw out statistics and averages of lifespans with my type of cancer.  Listening to those, 2.5 years, I am not happy to be creeping up on that.  But like I said, we still have ammunition and I am prepared to use it all.  I have never thought of myself  as a complainer and I'm not about to start now.  When someone asks me how I am and I say I'm doing well, it's because I believe.  I believe in myself, and in any chance I have at beating this.   I'm not going to complain because everyday for the past six years, I have been lucky enough to wake up to my family, make them breakfast, and live every day.   Do I feel perfect?  No.  I am sometimes uncomfortable and more tired than I wish to admit, but I am here.

The people in ours lives are the most supportive, caring, loving people.  Once again, I am at a loss as to how to express our gratitude. There is no way to know what to do to help in a situation like this.  My wish is if you have any extra positive healing energy (no short changing yourself here) send it out there!  I think a meal train has been set up for us by Sara Doolan.



We are talking to the kids about things as we see fit.  There is no script for this, no way of knowing what is right and wrong.  Our main goal for last week was to enjoy the holiday.  This week, Jason and I plan to continue talking to them about how hard I need to fight and how big of a fight it is.  This is a balancing act and I appreciate your patience with us as we navigate.

I will do my best to update this frequently, and please don't hesitate to call us and check in.  I have written this to help sift through all the information I have so that you can understand it too.

With love, Ash